convocated

today was my convocation day. i never went to my last one. i don't really regret it as i didn't know many in my faculty (and it being a huge one) didn't feel like i was missing out amongst the massive numbers. but after attending mark's graduation and enjoying all the ceremonial aspects i decided that i was going to attend mine.

and i did. with my husband. who diligently took pictures of me and my friends. who waved at me from the audience and who facetimed my parents so that they could watch me receive my BSc degree in nursing. that's right my parents attended my graduation from new brunswick. lucky lucky me!

it was a wonderful morning. the first day of summer and the first day of no rain this week. and it was a happy day. the school journey is officially over for a while...the learning has just begun.

I'm ready

So it has been a pretty stressful week to say the least. I may have broken down into a few hysterical sobs. Lol.

It all started with me leaving Facebook. Reason being. As much as I love my fellow nursling friends. I knew that once the crne results came in people would be posting like crazy. And why shouldn't they? They passed and should have every reason to shout it from the hills or social networking sites in celebration.

I left Facebook as I didn't want to see these results out of the slight chance that my results wouldn't come at the same time. But then I cracked. And by shear coincidence I went on when the results started to pile in. And then I found out that I was right in my assumption as I wasn't going to get my results right away. All this happening during the first week of my job which I found to be info overload and really one stressor is enough! Ha ha.

Not to mention that during this whole result waiting I have been convinced that I failed. Convinced. Sometimes I would think about it replay some of the answers I got wrong. Not a smart thing to do for a smart person! I think I managed to even convince others. Not many but some.

So what happened you asked. Mark found out that it had come in the mail. Rushed home to open the results and then phoned to call me. Where I proceeded to cry in HAPPINESS in my work parking lot.

Yes. There is a lot to learn in this situation.

1. Worrying sucks and I really need to figure out a way to get rid of the horrible bad habit. It wastes useless energy.

2. It's not what I learned but what I know. I have an amazing husband. He let me cry this week. Then he boosted me up. Rushed home from work or call from work to have someone check the mail. Just so he could be with me when the results come in. I love him and so appreciative and GRATEFUL he is in my life. He is a champ. Anyone that can deal with me in my disastrous moods is a good one!

3. People have more faith in me than I do myself. And that is just plain old silly and kind of ridiculous. I gave that stupid exam power. Instead of giving it to myself. Definite self improvement here. Time to bone up on my confidence!

That is it. Thank you all for your faith, confidence and just being there. I hope to return it to you all!
Love

P.S. and I am back on Facebook. So much for a permanent change. Lol.

The end is near.

Three more shifts and I will no longer have the word student in my signature. Not yet a registered nurse either as more studying needs to occur for that. What will it be? Graduate nurse. Wow. It seems so surreal. The first three years seemed to fly. But the last one was long and tiring. Anytime you make me do as many papers as I did it will always seem long. He he. Needless to say I am pretty pumped.

This last course, my preceptorship, I have been pretty silent on. Maybe it's because I really don't want to jinx it. But I can honestly say I love it. It is in my future to do this. I have had so many unbelievable opportunities that other clinicals were never able to provide. I had the privilege to be part of people's lives and be in there homes. I have also had the opportunity to contemplate and think about various topics that I had to learn in theory. Boundaries, empowerment, providing teaching and understanding, death and dying, not to mention more skills and opportunities to do in clinical. I have laughed and listened to fantastic stories that people lead in their lives. These are skills that I will take to my next place but as a paid employee. Eek.

It has been quite a magnificent journey. And this is just the beginning. I have met friends and patients, colleagues, mentors, and teachers that have altered my perceptions, and thoughts for what I can only hope is better. Can I ask for any more?

Here is to the next stage as a GN.

Love

Days like this

On days like this I don't want to make supper
On days like this I don't want to work out
On days like this I don't want to be outside
On days like this I don't want to clean

On days like this I want to take a hot bath
On days like this I want to be in my pajamas
On days like this I want to snuggle under the blankets
On days like this I want to make popcorn
On days like this I want to watch television
On days like this I want to relax

Lets choose the wants on days like this instead of the don'ts.

He he
The homestretch is here. Eight more days till I am an Graduate Nurse.

Love

It's here and I am back and I learned something

So here is a little post on something I have been dreading in the last few weeks. Really, it's something I should be excited about since I will be done so soon. But after a bit of a fantasy, like our summer end, school was really hard to think about let alone do all the grinding like activities.

So what do I think of this tiny little introduction so far into my leadership clinical? Pretty interesting (and I am not going to lie), a nursing leaders job looks supremely tough and I am sooo not ready for it right now (yet something that I hope one day to strive to be).

So that is it. I am sure I will be filled with stress and angst once the due dates to my assignments come through. But as of right now I am happy and positive.

And I heard one little tidbit today re how someone handles stressful situations and I really felt it. I think it should be integrated into my way living. The lady said that a stressful event is just a temporary moment in time. It will go away. Ahhh. Words to live by. So simple and so true.

Love

P.S. The cupcakes have started to come back. That was pretty awesome too!

the end of a "school year"

well we have both now officially finished our school years as of today. i know mine was awhile back but i feel it is cause for celebration as mark has officially finished his first year of teaching. woooo hoooo!! congratulations, hon.

i know that i have said that my year has been a tough one plenty of times. i think of the first semester and wonder how i got through it. BUT then i look at mark. i was in a fit of tears many times, mark was there for me on more than one occasion to listen to my tears, offer me cupcakes and tell me i am going to be okay. yet during all of this he was going through his own changes.

he worked harder than anyone i have ever seen, pushing himself to be better for his kids. AND i know his kids will have gotten a reward from it. both mark and his kids were lucky to have each other! AND if that was not cause for celebration his continuing contract was! so proud of you mark for all the hard work you have done!

this will definitely be a summer of well deserved rest, relaxation, partying and celebrating. i have to say mark deserves it....and so do i! *wink wink*

love

the image....

wow...some intense blog posts as of late...this will probably be my last one as i am all thought out for the time being and i really need to de-stress from the "school" studies....

the issue i want to talk about is something that has been bugging me for awhile. it started in first year and has progressed to now. i am sure many other careers have the same issue...it is none other than the image of nursing. a few months back a fellow student posted on facebook: "what do you think nurses do?" one response hit me hard. it was simple really. nothing to get mad about, as this was their perception, but basically the reply was "to follow physician's orders". argh.

it then got me thinking what i thought nursing was when i first went to school. many of my impressions were the "skills" they do, the giving of needles, the operating equipment. i didn't have a good perception of what the hospital was like...i had some ideas of what a nurse was...but it was vastly different to what i ended up studying. obviously i was very ignorant.

with that said rant mark mentioned today that the same things i get frustrated about regarding my career choice is something he has experienced with his.....like i said others are surely feeling the same.

so what can be done to change it?? i think to truly understand something one must educate themselves on the "said" issue. when it comes to working all the jobs i have had, i have gained a vast amount of experience and knowledge on the "said" work. for instance many people will have no idea what it means to live a "whole life" when working with the population that i work with. they may not understand them, while i know how valuable they are to the people and society in general. people need the education and understanding to further grasp what this population needs (and they do need so much yet so little).

with that being said...i hope and wish to see the image of nursing change just a little while i am working. i believe it will happen and i hope i am part of that change! :)

love

my philosophy, my tangents, my message

i found this years theory involved a lot of thinking. what are my views, what are my beliefs, what is my personal philosophy and how do they coincide with what my potential career will be. although sometimes it left me wondering why the heck we were doing the things we were doing...it was valuable.

one particular course that i found fascinating, although didn't know it till i was in the midst of it was philosophy and philosophy with regards to healthcare. 8am was hard to get up to, but i always loved the debates that would occur when listening to how others think and articulate what they value.

AND a particular topic was the right to adequate care. it seems quite obvious, yet i find i can wander off into tangents as really what is adequate care and what is adequate in our society? it seems that as people become used to not having certain things, then it seems to be "adequate" enough to not include them. i remember hiking last year and staying in one town that didn't have drinkable water. the expectation was that everyone was to purchase it. my hiking companions wondered why i was so upset by this. however i don't think it is reasonable to make people purchase for such a necessity. i mean its WATER! :)

it then makes me consider other things as really the people that get this "adequate care" are the people that speak up, make themselves heard. what about those that are not heard. i have worked with one of the most valuable populations. this is a population that contributes so much to people, yet are completely taken for granted. this population cannot really voice their concerns. they do have advocates, and believe me, those people work hard to make sure their concerns are heard, but it is sometimes a hard process. some people do not know the political ropes to write to, protest to, make themselves heard. they fall though the cracks. their right to "adequate care" gets determined yearly, as certain medications are deemed no longer necessary for their ability to function, or certain supports are now extra money. it is disheartening in my eyes.

philosophy has helped me discover my views and my passions. i am going to be a great advocate for the people i care for. i can say this with certainty. i feel i have done things already, not even knowing i was doing it, and i will continue to care. especially for those that are who i truly feel are oppressed and in need of so much more than me. i am such a lucky person to be here, have the opportunity for education not just once but twice, to live in a home full of warmth and love, to be able to be frivolous at times with regards to my spending. i think i have it too good sometimes. 

with the election coming tomorrow, i really would love to implore to anyone that may come across this, (whether you have an election or not) to vote (when the opportunity comes to play). it really is important. get involved in politics. it really isn't hard. if you have a complaint OR words of encouragement just right a simple letter to your political representative. it is how we can make change and i really do believe that we can do this! just think of your own philosophy and what you deem as important to yourself and those you love around you, and even those you don't know because everyone deserves "adequate care"

love

2 weeks and one semester till

it is hard to imagine because it is almost done. i am three presentations, two reading responses, three evaluation assignments, two finals and one paper away from being done my last year of theory. i am only (hopefully...fingers crossed), half a semester away from graduating. AND i have to say. it has been a long haul. i love learning, i love school, but i am defintely getting tired of it. i actually want to work and (possibly) never look back.

this month has sure put a damper on my social life . if it wasn't for my ipad and social networking i don't think i would even have contact with my friends and families. so sad! lol. but i have gotten a lot done too. i have worked hard and (i know i have said it) but i will really be glad when this semester is over.

one little indulgence i have had this month are the books by suzanne collins. i am sure everyone knows about this because the movie, the hunger games, is out. well the books are fantastic. totally teen but i totally love them. my mom and mark even got hooked on them too! too funny!

so that is my little share. i actually have a couple of posts coming up that i really want to talk about. but right now i will save that passion towards the assignments...because those are what need to get done!

love

My goodness

My blogging has certainly taken a hit this semester. Maybe it's the ton of papers that need to be written that decreases my motivation to write more. He he so far I have done three and I think I have 6 more by the end of March. I say think because it's so many that I really must take this one week at a time.

Between that and applying for jobs I kind of feel like a ball of nerves just waiting for things to happen but not wanting to rush it either. Lol. Life really isn't all that tough, but I know that sometimes I sure can make it tough for myself. Lol.

In other news, kitty has been going on continuous visits to the vet. After a physical, blood work, urinalysis, ECG, and an ultrasound (seriously, I wish I wasn't joking) he can officially get dental surgery. He he, I am sure he is thrilled.

I have been reading a bit more leisurely and have finally gotten the Hunger Games from the library. Casey says its good and with the movie coming out, it intrigues me so I am pumped to start. Also rented a couple of movies (Erin Brockovich, Iron Man, Iron Man 2, and Wit). I will see if I get to watch them.

Hmmm what else? I have been continuing to work out but this week has taken a bit of a downturn. I am slightly sick with just a chest cold. And really who wants to work out when they are sick?

In wedding news, one of my best ladies found a dress which I am so very excited about. When we went shopping a week previously she was expressing some hilarious interpretations of what she will wear. Lol. But I heard this dress is not hilarious but very pretty. So excited to see it and kind of love that it's a surprise for me.

My one tiny regret that i haven't been doing (besides blogging) is scrapbooking. Sigh. And it looks like I may not be doing any till April. Well I guess I have many things to look forward too. But let's not rush it!

I think that's it for now folks. Enjoy the week and hopefully I will talk to you soon either in person or on here!

Love

Avoidance

As I look at this upcoming semester I just want to lock myself up in my scrapbook room and do just that. And avoid :) All I see is discussions, presentations, and papers. Ugh!

It's true that I just have exactly one year left. And I know it will go by so fast (once I look back) but it will go ever so slow while I am in it, until of course I need that time! He he.

In addition we need to start fine tuning the details of the wedding and our honeymoon (so pumped we bought our tickets!) Yes this year is going to be full of hardwork and planning. Not to mention fun as the rewards are endless for each of these things!

But I still just want to curl up on the couch, watch a movie, and avoid. Reality starts tomorrow!

Love

clinical: a semester in review

So I thought before I start my Christmas celebrations I would do a little review of all the happenings this semester. Actually I got part of the idea from my last seminar instructor. She said to write a list of all that was accomplished this year and how good we should feel about it. He he. Obviously there are some things that I did not feel great about but I shall not dwell.

Community: I loved! This is something that I really hope to do in the future although I do realize the importance of experience. So many parts of it were fantastic from guest stints at schools or conferences to working home care or wound clinic. I found so many areas that I enjoyed.

Maternity: this challenged me on so many levels (not to mention my fear of labour). Well lets just say I won't have those images erased from my mind anytime soon, but I did enjoy the little ones post labour. Plus the teaching part was lots of fun! Who knew?

Surgery and other things: okay...now that it has been done for four days I can honestly say...it was HARD! He he But with all seriousness I learned so much and did so many skills. Even on the last day! It challenged me both physically and mentally but in the end I completed it and came out learning so much more. I know what it takes to b e a good nurse by watching those around me and definitely have something to aspire to. Really can you ask for more?

So that is it. Next up is fourth year. One more year to go... I am sure much more is to be learned....

Love

i'm a survivor

with another week winding down i thought this was fitting....he he he. only two more weeks...and i won't lie. i can't wait! :) he he he. mostly because i am resentful how i will be spending this weekend working on a paper vs having a little fun! lol. ugh, like i said, two more weeks!

what to do when one is anxious

• have a support person (or persons) to talk to. this means they will support you, let you cry, tell you that first days are hard, and quit trying to be so darn perfect (because even if you feel you are perfect, you aren't and frankly sometimes that needs to be said). he he he
• scrapbook. i know it diverts from the part you are anxious about but sometimes that is needed!
• with that in mind just take a break: long baths, read, bake, watch movies....try to de-stress
• download les miserables on itunes and sing at the top of your lungs (or any other of your favourite music...my choice always reverts to broadway!)....really it works
• talk to others that are in a similar situation. some may not [but most will] empathize and be there to vent with. 
• know that "this too shall pass" and that once you get used to things, it will get better.

now i just need to read this everyday...he he he! four more weeks!
love

another week bites the dust

it's officially the weekend in one minute. so happy you are here! it has been a freakishly busy two days in clinical. ahhhhhh. even my computer was busy as it decided to freeze and delete half the research i did. ugh. note to self, back up and save! :) but i have learned so much in just two days. talking to one other person in my clinical was funny because we both wished we could just skip over all this part and be "good" nurses. someday...;)

on top of the official week of clinical is the first official week of winter with snow, snow and more snow. it has come! i actually have to say this time of year i never mind the snow. i enjoy it. reminds me of holidays, xmas carols, lights, festivities...

speaking of holidays...already have some christmas shopping done with. hopefully going to wrap up the last little bit this weekend when there is little to do at the moment! eek! i love christmas. but on a sad note i don't know if i will even be decorating this year because we are off to my parents home for the holidays. i know i probably still could but i don't really like coming home to all sorts of decorations when in my mind xmas is over....this also means no christmas countdown for this blog.

i think i will leave now. mark stayed up and i think i will watch a bit of a movie with him. have a great weekend all!

love

the countdown is on

1 more day and it is my mom's birthday

19 more days and it is mine

21 more days till my last assignment is due in this term

30 more days till my last day of clinical

36 more days till i fly to new brunswick

39 more days and mark will be there

40 more days till christmas

AND

45 more days till mark's birthday (i thought i would add that one for points!)

this is the countdown that i keep playing in my head. i have extreme anxiety right now as i am officially starting my new rotation for clinical tomorrow. i am pretty scared and may have had a few bouts of tears already, such a dork! ;)  i know i can do it, but it will be challenging, with many new skills to practice! ugh! so i keep playing this countdown in my head!!!

p.s. the cold fx, the sleep, the baths, the relaxing worked. i feel somewhat free of a cold! :)

love

its beginning to look a lot like...

the christmas commercials have started. i called mark from work in a fit of glee. the hype has started and i am buying completely into it! eek! also have been scouring sites in my downtime looking for "cute" ideas. i found tons of diy gifts that i am pretty pumped to make (let's just hope i have the time).

in school news, my last maternity shift is wrapping up tomorrow. i have to say. i actually really like post partum. this is something that once again surprises me as i didn't think it would interest me at all. who would have thought. maybe my mom is right, i just love every rotation i am in....although maybe not one (refer to this post). it is going to be very tricky figuring out what to do in my preceptorship....

with this rotation winding down i will get a bit of a long weekend to unwind, scrapbook (something i have been doing heavily this last week) and maybe review some of the material that i am going to be needing to know for next rotation. this last one is the one i am the most nervous about. but who knows...it will probably be for me...he he he. jk!

till then!
love

a new rotation and a new night!

ahhh. the new rotation has started. back to shift work, mornings and nights. this week is nights, something i am looking forward to having as sleeping in seems so very nice at the moment!

so far i have been in awe of the ever so experienced nurses and doctors on my unit. so much knowledge, skills, compassion and SO SMART. yet i know know know that labour and delivery is not for me! it is quite amazing to see a baby enter this world, probably one of the coolest things i have seen. BUT if i stay in this field for the long term i think i will be scared away from ever having children (as it is i have pushed it even farther into the future after being in this rotation for one week) !! ha ha. i don't know how to explain it but i just feel too much of their pain. there may be a reward in the end but i think i will hold a grudge on that reward as it just went to war on my body (p.s. sorry mom, never meant to do that too you)! i know all you mom's out there say you forget the pain, but let's face it, (you can ask mark) i don't forget. lol

in other news....tried out the enjoy center with a nursing friend today. very cool place. organic grocery store, organic food (i recommend the carrot cake, very tasty), and cool little shops through out (although a little expensive). definitely a place my mom would enjoy as it has a similar feel as salisbury greenhouse :)

AND speaking of organic, mark just "harvested" his feast this year. potatoes, garlic, carrots and many many herbs. so very lovely. i may have been slightly annoyed with him when he initially started "cleaning" his veggies as i had just finished "cleaning" the kitchen. but a mess is no longer lingering on the counter tops so my annoyance has faded. and better than that i am happy to have veggies. it is a fantastic experience to bypass the veggies aisle in the supermarket because you have your own grown goods at home! :)

i have been reading lots too. i am loving this library card. it is kind of like homework to finish these books before they are due back but so many good ones to read! i just finished one book "those who save us" by jenna blum. a little graphic in some chapters but i found it interesting (even though it was fictional). AND right now i am reading "little princes" by conor grennan, a non-fiction book about orphans in nepal. so far i like...

hoping to find time to scrapbook again. the assignments are taking over my life, and when they are not, i am just tired and want to veg out. we will see what this weekend brings!

love you all!

randomness and thanks

one rotation is officially finished. sad to leave it as i had quite a few opportunities that i really enjoyed. i got to do a presentation to an elementary class and to seniors. this would normally not be my favourite thing in the world but getting feedback that (maybe) it would make a small difference was quite an amazing feeling. my new motto, "primary prevention is key!"

not only that but to go to people's homes and assist them was a privilege and something that i really loved. this was definitely something that i could see myself doing...i know i have said that already. but it is nice to really love something.

but alas, i must move on to more experiences...who knows...maybe another love??? he he he

in other news. a new arrival has come! jeaninne and dj's baby girl has arrived! she is a beauty. so excited for her toddlers and tiaras debut (he he he, joke). brought them lasagna on friday as that was something i also learned at my clinical: new parents need food! what a horrible friend i have been to my other friends that had new babies...BUT GUYS: I NOW KNOW! lol

lastly, thanksgiving is tomorrow so i must give thanks to:
mark: for everything but recently the flowers and chocolate doughnuts that came to my door while i was at work. you are pretty awesome in all ways!
my family: you are so far, but yet so close. i love you!
my lovely friends: such good listeners all of you. especially during my trials regarding never-ending assignments!
really i am just so grateful to everyone in my life. thanks for being there for me! :)

love

this is my life...

i must apologize from the lack of posts. i am in "stress" mode at the moment with two presentations that need to get done by the end of the week. so the anxiety i feel for this workload is reserved for the people in my life, rather than the web (they are so lucky, he he he and have been soooo ever amazing).

but i do have to say, with the stress that i have been feeling, i do LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my rotation. that definitely excites me for the future! so at least i am able to see the bright lining even if it does seem so far away right now.

been trying a bit to running but stumbled upon an injured knee. not quite sure at all what happened but it hurt quite a bit yesterday while i attempted to run. kind of frustrating considering we are having a most beautiful fall this year. it will have to be one of my photoblog photos for sure.

other than plugging away writing papers on the computer, i have been perusing youtube watching music videos. these are my favs this time around. kind of on a beyonce love fest. the amazing power in her voice.love it.

AND of course my glee is back!!! their music just makes me so happy. i'd have loved to put a video on here but they prevented it so....you will just have to watch the show!

till next time have a good one! i am on baby watch for a very good friend having her first one (hopefully soon) so their is some exciting things to look forward to!





love ya!