grrrrr

yesterday was not a good day. it may be quite minor when i look back on it in the years ahead, but for me, yesterday, i was not happy. i am organized, it seemed that my organization just left. AND I HATE IT WHEN THINGS AREN'T ORGANIZED! he he he. ugh. then when i went to bed, all i thought about was the night and it kept circling in my dreams....leading to a not so pleasent sleep!

now, as i write this i hear my parent's voices in my head. "i can do this. we don't quit. it will get easier". others (like mark's) words of encouragement go a long way too as there are days, when i know that i am okay, but it helps when others believe in me too!

wow, this rotation is hard. now on to the next day, today! today is a new day! :)

love

today is a good day

why?

1. because its friday. that needs no explanation
2. because i saw miracle on 34th street yesterday on tv. the black and white natalie wood the best version. love christmas movies
3. because i have three weeks left till christmas break
4. because i have one more week till my birthday
5. because i am tired and exhausted, this rotation is HARD. but at least i am learning lots
6. because i have a date-day planned to the market tomorrow and it is suppose to have 63 vendors!
7. because i have a friend date tonight and those are always stupendous!
8. because i saw this trailer and it seemed romantic and cute and i really want to see it!

AND

i am just happy that its friday...said that already but it needs to be reiterated!

love

a girl and her flower

so although i won't be doing a christmas countdown, it doesn't mean i won't share some of my memories, thoughts, and more loves of the holiday season! :)

last year for christmas my parents gave both my brother and i digital frames loaded with pics from our childhood. i find it amusing, letting it run as you never know what picture will come up. well this was one (excuse the nightgown and i really don't know what jimi-jam was wearing) came up.

me and my amaryllis. my grammie gave it to me for my birthday to plant and see it grow over the christmas season. i don't know how eager i was of the gift but i look happy! i still remember it being up to my chest and had actually been thinking about that flower last year. so much so that i bought one! this time i know i was happy to see it inch every day and come to a beautiful bloom. it is especially nice when you rarely see things grow during our winter months!

if only i actually thought about it and kept the bulb to grow again this year....once again showing my lack of "plant knowledge!" he he he.

happy christmas memories!

love

its okay to cry

so this rotation has brought on a wide variety of emotions from me...and when i talk to my nursing friends (them, too). well maybe this will be interesting to them...its not totally our fault ladies! mark's mom was talking about this as there was a speaker on cbc. i don't know if i have the exact author but i found this interesting....

Kreamer contends that women naturally cry more:
Women, who produce higher levels of prolactin, the hormone that controls tear production, cry on average 5.3 times a month, compared with 1.4 times for men. Women’s tear ducts are also anatomically different from men’s--they are smaller, which means that when women cry tears tend to spill out and down their faces, whereas when men cry their tears merely well up.

So why fight it, asks Kreamer:
Tears are a biological phenomenon, and when they appear they should be regarded not as bad in and of themselves but as a message, like the check-engine light going off on the car dashboard. Tears at work signal that something’s not quite right. They aren’t necessarily a moral failing or a sign of weakness.

(Ann Kreamer, It's Always Personal: Emotion in the Workplace)

very interesting....so it is okay to cry! but i still want to hold it in if i can, because it just ain't pretty! :)

love

what to do when one is anxious

• have a support person (or persons) to talk to. this means they will support you, let you cry, tell you that first days are hard, and quit trying to be so darn perfect (because even if you feel you are perfect, you aren't and frankly sometimes that needs to be said). he he he
• scrapbook. i know it diverts from the part you are anxious about but sometimes that is needed!
• with that in mind just take a break: long baths, read, bake, watch movies....try to de-stress
• download les miserables on itunes and sing at the top of your lungs (or any other of your favourite music...my choice always reverts to broadway!)....really it works
• talk to others that are in a similar situation. some may not [but most will] empathize and be there to vent with. 
• know that "this too shall pass" and that once you get used to things, it will get better.

now i just need to read this everyday...he he he! four more weeks!
love

another week bites the dust

it's officially the weekend in one minute. so happy you are here! it has been a freakishly busy two days in clinical. ahhhhhh. even my computer was busy as it decided to freeze and delete half the research i did. ugh. note to self, back up and save! :) but i have learned so much in just two days. talking to one other person in my clinical was funny because we both wished we could just skip over all this part and be "good" nurses. someday...;)

on top of the official week of clinical is the first official week of winter with snow, snow and more snow. it has come! i actually have to say this time of year i never mind the snow. i enjoy it. reminds me of holidays, xmas carols, lights, festivities...

speaking of holidays...already have some christmas shopping done with. hopefully going to wrap up the last little bit this weekend when there is little to do at the moment! eek! i love christmas. but on a sad note i don't know if i will even be decorating this year because we are off to my parents home for the holidays. i know i probably still could but i don't really like coming home to all sorts of decorations when in my mind xmas is over....this also means no christmas countdown for this blog.

i think i will leave now. mark stayed up and i think i will watch a bit of a movie with him. have a great weekend all!

love

birthday wishes

i have been kind of bad with regards to sending out birthday wishes on this blog this year. last year i was on top of it! he he he. but considering i do wish the lovely people in my life a very happy birthday in person, and usually through other mediums i figure it is okay...

however...since today i happen to think about writing on the blog i would like to wish my momsie a very happy happy birthday! love you lots and hope you have a wonderful day! check out my countdown...i will be seeing you soon! :)

love

the countdown is on

1 more day and it is my mom's birthday

19 more days and it is mine

21 more days till my last assignment is due in this term

30 more days till my last day of clinical

36 more days till i fly to new brunswick

39 more days and mark will be there

40 more days till christmas

AND

45 more days till mark's birthday (i thought i would add that one for points!)

this is the countdown that i keep playing in my head. i have extreme anxiety right now as i am officially starting my new rotation for clinical tomorrow. i am pretty scared and may have had a few bouts of tears already, such a dork! ;)  i know i can do it, but it will be challenging, with many new skills to practice! ugh! so i keep playing this countdown in my head!!!

p.s. the cold fx, the sleep, the baths, the relaxing worked. i feel somewhat free of a cold! :)

love

i feel it coming

that being a cold. its the first big snowfall and i feel it coming.

i hate that pre-stage with the slight chills and the tingle in your throat. when you try to fight off the cold before it takes over your body for good. this is done by taking as much cold fx as possible. hoping, wishing, willing the cold to be gone by the morning. pummeling down as much fluids as would be allowed, bundling in warm clothes till you "sweat". taking warm baths to relax and let your body fight the evil germs that are lurking in your body.

and colds always come in the most inopportune times. but really when it is it opportunistic. i remember having one right before i left for new york city. another came during final exams. then two hit me during two music festivals, folk fest, and lilith fair. not to mention during the summer months when you are not suppose to be sick. this time around, my first week of my last clinical rotation, seriously?? (!!)

all this said in done i will tell you the result of this one. let's see if i can just fight it off! wish me luck...now back to the water!

in the meantime, enjoy this little video.


love

in remembrance

on this day i will remember my grandfathers. i love you both so very much!

love

its beginning to look a lot like...

the christmas commercials have started. i called mark from work in a fit of glee. the hype has started and i am buying completely into it! eek! also have been scouring sites in my downtime looking for "cute" ideas. i found tons of diy gifts that i am pretty pumped to make (let's just hope i have the time).

in school news, my last maternity shift is wrapping up tomorrow. i have to say. i actually really like post partum. this is something that once again surprises me as i didn't think it would interest me at all. who would have thought. maybe my mom is right, i just love every rotation i am in....although maybe not one (refer to this post). it is going to be very tricky figuring out what to do in my preceptorship....

with this rotation winding down i will get a bit of a long weekend to unwind, scrapbook (something i have been doing heavily this last week) and maybe review some of the material that i am going to be needing to know for next rotation. this last one is the one i am the most nervous about. but who knows...it will probably be for me...he he he. jk!

till then!
love

hibernation time

the season is upon us. not christmas, but pre-winter. this is the time where i just want to:

• make "hearty" soups or stews.
• meals heavy on the pasta.
• snuggle in warm blankets.
• have warm baths while reading really good books
• wear my mittens everywhere i go
• avoid going outside for anything

i can now see why when spring comes i want to start eating healthy again and going to the gym because all i really want to do is hibernate until the sun comes out in full fury! he he he

however days like today i can make a bit of an exception. snuggled under the blankets till 10 am, then mark and i went on a market date. its rodeo week so there happened to be some festivities at city hall. some "bad" miniature ponies (i say that, as they would be kicking the side of their trailer when their owners weren't looking...he he he). movies in a warm tent and coffee/apple cider/hot chocolate for only a dollar!! love it. not to mention fire pits and music entertainment.

sure glad i decided to put off my hibernation for another day!

love