The third trimester rant

So here is my rant. My pregnancy rant that is. It's been brewing for awhile. And it has finally come to form online. Ha ha. 

I have approached the third trimester. Yay. And really had very little complaints for the first two. Double yay! But then the third happened....and I had to take a test. A gestational diabetes test. And it came back positive. Ugh! 

I know. What's the deal. But for a foodie like me it has seemed to be almost catastrophic at times. I love my summer food. My summer fruit. My summer slurpees. My summer ice cream. And really I just love my summer sweets. Or really just any sweets. Let's not discriminate...ha ha. And I kind of suspected but was still kind of shocked as I don't present that I have it. I have had limited/healthy weight gain and I have managed to keep active for the most part. Good bye cheesies, chocolate, and sweets (for Mark too, ha ha. Love this pic of him pretending to have a food baby)

So why did this happen? Genetics, ages and that darn placenta is blocking all my insulin production. Little trickster. I have been assured that as soon as that placenta leaves my body, sugar is back on the table. Ha ha. Although this may be good for me in the long run. I have learned a bit more about food, speaking with the dietician and the team at the clinic I've been going too. But I still can't wait to get back to my fruit salad and smoothies. 

Second rant. I am thrilled that people are taking care of my baby and looking out for his/her health. Grateful in fact. But I have to say. As a nurse that incorporates a person into the plan of care (I can probably say always or almost always) it can be a little disheartening at times that people seem to look more at my stomach than myself. 

I have found this at certain appointments that I attend. I don't need to go into specifics. But its nice to feel like I'm part of the plan of care. And really all that needs to be done is just subtle rewording of what people want me to do. I'm not just a vessel. I'm a person. And I like to feel that I get to have somewhat of a say, input, etc. 

But I digress. That little ditty may be useful for any other health professionals that happen to come across this post. I know it made me think more about my personal practice and how proud I am of what I achieve with my patients/clients. But hey, I love empowerment!

Rant over. Time to move on and see what the coming months bring. 

Love

What you talk about with your husband

Pregnancy brings up questions that you never thought you would have. 

And answers that you never thought you would share.

And guess what. 

You do both. 

And your husband knows things he never thought he would ever know.

Mysteries disappear. 

And laughter ensues at the ridiculousness of it all. 

Love

A thought continued

It turns out to be true. And unfortunately found out in the poorest of circumstances that I really don't need to get into.

But in those times you see some people really come together to help me out. Mainly my mom and husband. 

My mom finding information on her end of the world to make me feel better. Trying to make me feel better. Telling me to avoid the Internet. Ugh. 

And my husband who finds a way to rectify the situation, calling as many people as it takes for someone to talk to me. Connecting me to a nurse within thirty minutes of being on the phone. And then doing his own internet research and making me a Canadian food guide meal, as a surprise during my work break. 

I am lucky to have such great support. And I love them both so much. 

Xoxo

Love 

A thought

A pregnancy thought. 

Is it bad that I found the gestational diabetes juice tasty for the test?

I could be in trouble.....

Love

Wells Gray

This is what I have learned:
glamping aka glamour camping is awesome
  AND by that I mean camping in a tent trailer, needing no air mattress and having so much more space, in an actual site and making real food on a coleman stove is fantastic!

 

day hiking is fun but not quite as exhilarating as doing a big km quest in a day.
  HOWEVER one can still see most fantastic things like waterfalls, big beautiful trees and raging waters











kayaking is fun wherever you go and it can still be enjoyable in the rain!







stopping in a town on the way home, like Jasper, has huge perks AND by that you can bulk up on more chocolate and fudge than you would normally never buy and you can take a lovely dip in the hot springs

even if your vacation is a short one you can still have loads of fun with your partner. AND by that I mean playing games, reading, talking, chatting and enjoying each others company







AND it is still nice to come home to our lovely pets!

love

The year so far....

July 1. The year is half way over and my blog shows nothing. But really, quite a bit has happened so far in just over 6 months!

I have been working both the rehab and homecare side of my job and loving the variety of what both has to offer. The learning opportunities have been extensive and I am starting to grapple many new things as I grow in my career. I love it so much that I actually don't mind picking up to a full time position that I often do, or fall just one shift behind of that. It has been really nice to love going to work. And for that I am extremely grateful for!

My parents came to visit in March. We had family pics done, went on dog walks, made meals, went to movies and putzed around. Dad was busy studying to be a fireman and has since passed many tests (and has a uniform to boot!) We also went to Vancouver together for my cousins wedding. A little cool at that time but the ceremony was extremely sweet and touching, with planes flying over head as a tribute to the groom.

That was one of 4 wedding/celebrations we had. Next was onto Calgary to celebrate Mark's cousins nuptials. Exposure to a different cultural celebration was quite fun and educational for myself as I was googling things long into the night after the wedding. Once in Calgary we had to see my Great Aunt Elizabeth and cousins Joanne and Greg. We talked about their upcoming trip to New York where they happen to be right now!

The other two weddings were a little more informal but just as fantastic and fun as we were not present for both couple's nuptials but BOTH decided to continue the celebrations in a local way at a hall. One was my friend Nikki as she got married in Vegas. They hired a food truck, had salads and pop and we all just sat around and gabbed until the late evening.
The other was another of Mark's cousins. They got married in Ottawa that we unfortunately couldn't attend due to Mark's school trip being neck in neck with the dates. But we were fortunate to celebrate here, where there were family competitions set up from bean bag toss, kite flying to crossword puzzles. We had the added bonus of sitting with the bride and groom so we were set for answers! Plus an ice cream truck! Who can go wrong with that!!!!

Mark is finally done work. Lots of hard work this year, plus he got to go on a school trip to New York and Red Deer. Work but still had fun experiences.
Plus on the homefront, lots of dog walks, market time, gardening, spending time with friends, seeing movies, watching Netflix, AND of course we are expecting our first child this October. SO many big changes ahead!

We will see what the summer brings. From all this hot weather the veggie garden is a growing. Mark may go hiking with a friend of ours and I have a less cardio trip planned with a friend of mine.

Until next time!
Love

Dear wee one: Part 5

So I have already started to slack on some of the things I like to do in my spare time. Blogging. Guess what. The secret is long since out and you have made yourself known in another round of ultra sound pics. 

 

There you are in all full glory. I think you are about 21 weeks there, as your 24 weeks today. Don't know your gender as thought it could be a fun surprise for us and everyone else excited about your arrival. I like the bottom one. I label it the "thinker" as you stroke your chin. Ha ha.

According to a website I go to on a regular basis you have grown to various different kinds of fruits and vegetables. In order of what I can remember you've been the size of a lemon, navel orange, avocado, sweet potato, mango, squash and the most recent corn (although when I look at the squash your dad grows and compare to the corn I would think its kind of a downgrade). I find it overall pretty comical to compare you to something edible but it does give perspective to things, certainly.

I know on a regular basis that you are around as you make your presence known. You kick me often. I feel it most at night when I'm on my stomach and full of food or have a full bladder, (thanks for that) *wink wink. But you will do tiny ones during the day too. Just today I noticed how my stomach will move ever so subtlety....crazy!

 

Your doctor's visits have you always ranging from 140-145 in heart rate. And I have just met one of the doctors (part of a team) that will deliver you when your ready. She will be the one following me for awhile. We both seem to share a sarcastic humor so I think we should get along. And really, her hands just might be the first ones to touch you, so I hope you like her too!  Due date is official as I am measuring it perfectly as well Oct 16. However I am convinced you will make it a week later. Better make sure I am stocked on Halloween candy prior!

Wondering how I am feeling? Not as tired as before but I sure get out of breath when I scale up hills during Bentley's dog walks. And usually around that walking some lovely round ligament pain flares up. And the most significant change is my stomach is growing! It is especially tight after supper when I am full of food. Pillows have become my hugging companion at night, making sleep just a little easier.  

I don't know if I have cravings per say but there are things I love right now. So far it has been a hot hot spring/summer. Cold watermelon (6 full melons, those far) and navel oranges have been fantastic. Really any kind of fruit or smoothie makes me happy. Plus slurpees! YUM. and the occasional ice cream or blizzard, salted caramel is what I'm going for. When I really think about bad cravings its the  ripple chips and cheesies. Because of that I have started cutting raw veggies and eating them daily too. You sure make it known when your hungry. And when your hungry, I'm hungry....now! So I try to keep it at bay, eating small meals regularly when I can.

 

Nerves hit me on occasion. I wonder what life will be like when your around. I have enjoyed my jobs immensely this last year and I don't even mind working full time hours which I am doing presently. With you coming, we both anticipate our outlook on life will change, thus probably my job will too. You get a full year of me, baby! Hope you can handle it! ha ha. And after the year, we will trial what we think is best for all of us.
It hit me when my dentist went to me the other day and told me they will see me in December. Got me thinking that you will be around then. I wonder where you will go for those couple of hours? Plus dogs need to be walked and food needs to be made. Changes changes changes. I sit and wonder what I will do but I don't like to make anything definite as I just don't know what will happen. So I ponder.

So that's the latest and greatest for you. I have a glucose test that I have been dreading, coming up. Plus another ultra sound when you hit 35 weeks! and the doctor's visits are going to increase come August to bi-weekly. So I will hear that little heart a bit more. I will try to stay cool.

Love 

My Dog Bentley

I really love my dog. So very much. So much that I worry about how I may start to neglect my pup when the little one makes it's entrance in October. So many blogs, people, and even friends say that it will happen. And that just makes me too sad. I'm not aiming to keep up his walks in the first week of November. But I am hoping that we will be able to start them sometime when (or if) I get a handle of things...ha ha ha. And I think I need to cling to that delusion (if it is one) until I come to that realization first hand...so please don't shatter it! :)

In the meantime, I (we) are enjoying our dog time. It has become a habit that we take him to the dog park everyday for an hour. I love the dog park. Especially by the zoo as I find it has it's own unique beauty every season.

This is where Bentley and I will do our hill training. He will chase after squirrels, mice and even a deer has crossed his path. When that happens his natural instincts just take over. But over the last year and even months we have started to see a big change. He still may run away at times but the amount has substantially decreased. And the recall is 90% better than last year. We wonder if it's because we have started to walk together on these walks and he is better behaved. But it could also be that we are the longest he has probably had with one family. We are his people!

Just a few weeks ago I separated from the walk to go to the bathroom and was going to meet Mark and Bents at the car. Mark came up to me at the toilets and said that didn't work because Bentley would just stay smack dab in the middle of our ever extended walk away from each other. Funny guy!

Today we went to pets in the park. Mark has been working diligently on Bentley's retrieval skills. And through the carnival games Bents shone. From bobbing for hot dogs (got them all in less than 5 s flat in the deep tub), to retrieving treats from the sand and puzzle box, he was amazing. He still could use some work on the "kissing department" as we both put treats in our mouths to get him to kiss us (yes we are those people). And he really likes to do his own obstacle courses in nature, not any man made ones offered. But, hey, you have to have your own likes!

It hasn't been huge sailing with Bentley this year. He did have surgery in April. We aren't quite sure what he did but regardless he had a hole right by his left front leg. It got flushed, a drain got put in and stitches were used. Plus I doubled up on reinforcement with dressing supplies so he wouldn't feel the need to pull it out. He was not impressed. He fought the anesthetic x 2, the little gobber. Plus he was doped up for about three days after.
AND he is still horrible when it comes to cutting his nails. Plus I have become additionally traumatized as I hit his quick the last time I was able to cut one of his nails.

Bentley has celebrated one birthday with us making him three years old. Bone for a present plus toys to destroy and treats galore. I look back and am so happy we decided to get him. He has been a wonderful companion to have in our lives. AND I have become a crazy obsessed dog person. Something I swore I would never be. But he is worth becoming one!

Love him!

Dear wee one: Part 4

Omigoodness. Not writing very much. But don't worry. I think about you numerous times in a day. And a lot had happened to you since my lack of posts.

Let's see. You have gone from a raspberry, to a blueberry. I saw you in an ultrasound then. I would say you looked more like a grain of rice but whatevs. Then you grew to be the size of an olive then a whooping lime.

I've gone to the doctor twice so far and good results. Genetic testing came up. We (your parents) discussed the options and decided against it. We have wanted you for awhile now so if you decided that you want us too, why question it? 

Mom (that would be Grammie to you as that's what she wishes her name to be) says that you are starting to peak through my stomach. I've noticed changes but not so extreme that my clothes don't fit. Although end of the day jean wearing can be a bit more uncomfortable.

So far I would have to say you have been pretty gentle on me. I sometimes have wondered your existence especially when around others whom are due around the same time. They are being put through much more trying times. I have seen you though and heard your little heartbeat too. That was probably my most exciting event so far. I think you might be testing me, "the calm before the storm," and you will make yourself known after your birth by never sleeping....ha ha.

We have read some books on what to eat and what to avoid. Hardest so far is my sushi and soft cheese. You want what you can't have I guess. And I have had to up the prunes and water content thanks to a little symptom I'm feeling. But like I said very little to complain about. I've been sick three times really and if I can count it on my hands, it sounds good to me!

I have found that I do love to sleep. And nap. That has become a necessity. Or I just don't function at all.

People are starting to slowly know your existence. Grandparents, aunts and uncles. A few friends. I'm still wary. I am happy you have chosen to stay so far. I just know things can happen that just are out of both our control. So I wait. April 15 to be exact (the 14 week mark).

But soon enough this little secret will be out. It's been nice to hold on to something secret for awhile to adjust to the big change ahead. Processing without other peoples voices entering into your head telling you what to do. That advice will be wanted in time. But too soon for me right now.  Your dad on the other hand can't handle this. Who knew his secret keeping caused him so much anxiety. I think he would shout it from the rooftops if he could. Ha ha.

Till next time!
Love

Dear wee one: Part 3

Sweat pea is the size you are.

Other than that you have been pretty easy on me. 

I started wondering if I would feel sick yet. 

Feelings of nausea at times but nothing else. 

Your father says that we really shouldn't wish these things or rush them. 

And quite frankly I'm inclined to agree. 

Every persons pregnancy is different. 

So let's just wait and see what's in store. 

I have been lucky as I continue to go to the gym and walk the dog. 

I take it a bit easier and don't push through workouts like I normally would. 

And frankly it's been nice to just do incline on the treadmill or

Reverse step on the elliptical. 

I would love to do some weight strengthening exercises but I may wait a bit on that. 

Really lets just wait and see what I'm feeling like. 

 

Going to settle in and watch the oscars now. 

And eat a fresh cheese bun, cause they are right from the oven. 
I wonder if you will like cheese? ;)

 

Love

Dear wee one: Part 2

So it's been four days since we found out about your existence

According to my calendar you are the size of a sesame seed

It's kind of funny isn't it?

You were a poppy seed a week ago and now a sesame seed?

I can't quite figure out the difference in sizes really 

But your growing instead of shrinking so that's good!

I think the shock of you has subsided 

I just want you to stay healthy right now 

Your dad is very happy but we both know that these months are the wait and see game

I do get waves of excitement and they go down to my belly when I think of you

Who knew a little sesame seed could bring me such happiness 

I had mild cramping when your existence to me came. 

And let's just face it, my chest was sore. 

Now they are slowly subsiding and I feel nothing. 

I read up and that's pretty normal. 

But I hear some things may start happening on week six that I may not be fond of

We will see...

but don't worry I'm glad you are here

You're wanted and loved

And those that don't know about you will love you so much too. 

See you on week 6

Love

Valentines day love

This is my husband talking about our dog to our dog's girlfriend's owner. Yes we are those weird people. I found the post quite amusing. 

So I have a Bentley Valentine's story that you will appreciate but you can't tell Anana. I was walking him this sunny morning in the fresh powdery snowfield behind our house. He was loving it and was covered in snow from digging, jumping and exploring when he caught a whiff scent by cupid himself. Off he went at a full gallop despite my plutonic but frantic calls. About 300m away the object of his nose appeared out of the creek bed. She was a petite thing as slinky as they come. I had seen her hanging around out back before but I had been more worried about Pirate and Kitty at the time. Now usually it is a good thing when the lady a love stricken teenager has his eye on is fast but unfortunately for Bentley she was not running for him but away from him. He caught up to her when she couldn't cross the Henday in a patch of tall scrub that I couldn't see into. I don't know what happened in there but it was quick. She came running out after 30 seconds to a minute and he was about 10 seconds behind, running like a mad man (or dog, whatever). I was grateful for not having had to cover Pirate's innocent eye but I am still kinda curious about what happened under the cover of that bush. Bentley bears no signs of amour-ous/less biting. He followed cupid's love trail another zigzagging kilometer before electing to double back on one of her intersecting trails where I pounced on him to rescue him from the spell he was under.

Again, don't tell Anana. I hope she has had better luck with any scent trails that took her fancy or that she was better able to avoid the 'commercial' hype that Bentley must have so clearly fallen for. I mean chasing after a slinky coyote when Anana has been away for less then 6 months just isn't like him.

If you do end up letting it slip to Anana then you should also tell her that he still runs wildly up to dogs that look like Anana when we get to the dog park.

Love

Chocolate croissants

Oh France I have attempted something that I have longed for since visiting Paris. And it's all thanks to Anita....and the duchess bakery. 

Let me elaborate. Anita, for my birthday, gave me the dear gift of the duchess bakery cookbook. And within that cookbook is highly delectable desserts from pies, cookies, macaroons, and what I attempted on Sunday and finished today....

The chocolate croissant. Mark and I have been vying after them since we had our first bite in Paris. And I have to say, my first attempt seems like a success.

It was quite a process though. Serious process of 6 to 24 hours to an additional hour after. And after all that I got only 7 of them. And really just three as we each inhaled two, right out of the oven. 

Winter can be so fun to just bake goodies, can't it?!

Love

Dear wee one

A half an hour ago I just found out you exist. 

Your dad (whoa) really weird to say that smiled but is cautious

I am too 

There is still a long ways to go till this feels real (and in our eyes safe to say it out loud to family and friends)

We are shocked to say the least 

But so very happy

We have been trying to have you for quite awhile

So long in fact I was close to thinking that you were never going to show up

Literally three days ago I said that very thing to your dad (whoa again) 

And now we found out that you are coming 

In October according to the Internet

And you are the size of a poppyseed right now 

Wow

Things are just continuing to be exciting aren't they?

Life is crazy

Love

It happened again

Our traditional Christmas-but we are all to busy-so let's celebrate in the new year-party. This year it was hosted at our house. Eek. Very exciting for both of us. And slightly nerve wracking. Let me just say our parents taught us well and they seemed to have passed along their dinner hosting skills effectively. 

First I cleaned the house the day before and set the table, got the dinnerware ready, punch bowl out and laid out all the cups needed. Mom taught me that one as she said it is just a few things you don't have to worry about the day of. Mom will sometimes go as far as prep all the veggies and appetizers the day before and put them in pots, in the fridge. I didn't do that...maybe next time (wink wink). 

The veggies were for the next day. In the late morning, early afternoon I did the peeling and chopping and got them ready and left the kitchen. That way both Mark and I could each have the kitchen to ourselves. Kept it simple and tasty. Mark did the meat and from that, cause we prepped so good I had time to do that last minute grocery trip that always seems to be needed for us. Not experts yet! Ha ha. 

Right before, appies out, punch done (with a big ice block, that David taught us to do), beef and chicken in the oven and everything boiling almost ready to go. And like any supper, have it ready a half an hour later than the actual time you said for people to come. It works. Trust me. 

The rest was perfect cause it was perfect company. I love those dinners. Even if some of us don't see each other for a year (sad I know). But we always seem to have fun. Games, good conversations, lots of laughter and full bellies. Heart full!

May have to try again next year. 

Love

Ya' mon

Since Christmas has been put away for another year, I finished some January/Post-Christmas baking, and it is 10pm, the house is clean, the pets are sleeping and Mark is out....Let's talk about Jamaica! Our wonderful pre-Christmas vacation with the family.





One of Mark's cousin's was getting married and invited all the Edey crew....and guess what...WE ALL CAME! :) It was lovely. Warm weather, warm rain, rainbows and so much more.

I thought I might have trouble posting about it as quite possibly it would be later in the month....turns out I was right. Luckily I wrote a few notes everyday of the things that I enjoyed. So here it is in a nut shell (in no particular order)

Drinks

Who doesn't love a slushy fun, alcoholic beverage???!! Especially when you are at an all inclusive. AND when they have even more fun names???!! Some of the choices I had were: Bahama mamas, kiss and tells, piña colada and rum punch (Mark enjoyed those for one night only). Bob marleys (the lovely green, red, and yellow drink) and the lovely banana drink called the ambassadors reef...yummy!

Water

We stayed at the Rose Hall Hilton Spa and Resort and were lucky to enjoy not only a lap pool but a lazy river with waterslides. Now my husband may have at times got into little water fight wars with some 7 year olds (and I quote from one little girl, "The smart people spray others with the jets.")...but I digress.





The lazy river was loads of fun, managing to get every single family member in there.
Lots of fun moments had there, Mark may have tried to splash his mother....sigh....poor mom. My favourite moment was when Mark's granddad and his auntie Sandra went in. Sandra wearing her glasses, and granddad wearing his hearing aids realized a waterfall was ahead...one covered her eyes, the other his ears...so I covered my mouth to join the trend (hear no, see no, say no....)




The ocean was slightly smaller than most but I enjoyed listening to the waves, feeling the breeze and smelling the salty air. My favourite spot was reading under an umbrella and falling asleep to the waves crashing against the rocks. Lots of beautiful look outs to see the sun rise and set, to walk around at night and day. Plus the swimming was fun too as I LOVE LOVE LOVE warm ocean water!

The hot tubs were fantastic when it rained a little harder than it should on a tropical vacation. It made everything all right as we soaked in the hot water with a drink in hand and the jets pounding into our backs.

Food

Let's just list the food shall we cause it was all delicious. All had at the hotel as well. YUMMY!
We had:
jerk chicken, jerk pork, paella, shrimp soup, mahi mahi with fruit salsa, festival (deep fried delicious dough), pumpkin rice
fresh fruit including mangos, passion fruit, star fruit, papaya, coconuts, and Mark's favourite, sugar cane (probably not a fruit)
Desserts of coconut macaroons, coconut cake, mango cheesecake, banana cream puffs, mango mousse, chocolate cake
Set up for everyone during certain nights was pasta stations, stir fry stations, smoothie stations, appetizer type food and an ice cream station. Can it get better?

Tours

On our second night we took the Rose Hall Manor ghost tour. Throughout the tour there were wandering ghosts haunting the place. They managed to scare me as a few jumped out and I may have grabbed strangers in fright. Others, (Mark's granddad) chatted with the said ghosts telling them that they have "scrubbed all the blood out". The whole house was quite huge with fabric wallpaper and beautiful furniture.

Another tour was one I did with Mark and his cousin Abbey. The adventure tour of zip-lining and tube rides. Done through Chukka tours and I must say some of the best tour guides I have had. Safe but fun and entertaining as I found myself laughing quite a bit.
Our tubing guide was called "Shrek" who everyone seemed to hassle, but who seemed able to give it back quite easily. Apparently it rained at the hotel that day but we had some lovely sun where we were so we jumped in the water, swung on the rope swing and enjoyed the morning.
Zip-lining may have given Mark and I a little bit of a hyperventilating attack. But we had to play it cool for Abbey (haha). Once we got a hang of it, it was super fun. The guides again were fantastic. And Mark had fun hassling them as they sure hassled him!

Entertainment

Reggae music, bar dancing (on the stage, just because we could), BINGO playing, card games, reading books, working out at the gym, some golfing, others enjoying the spa, water aerobics, sailing adventures, steel drums and so much more.

And most importantly...what this whole thing was about: Spending time with Family 

Watching two wonderful people get married, and just prior seeing a rainbow in the horizon (that has to be good luck, doesn't it?!)



Dancing with a little one, playing games with the little one, exploring with the little one, swimming with the little one and lazy river cruising with the little one.
Celebrating an 89 birthday at a fancy restaurant with plenty of family around to sing happy birthday.

Long talks with family whether it was in a hotel room with siblings and parents, at the bar with cousins amongst drinks, chatting over lunch, supper or by the pool. It involved reminiscing about times past sometimes prior to the oldest cousin being born, or when the last cousin was born. Some had hilarity, others seriousness. Regardless what they were, those were my favourite moments because I got a glimpse into all these family members past and how they became the people they are today.





It was a wonderful vacation. I am so glad/fortunate/happy I could be part of it. More weddings should have been in the tropics....:)

love
p.s. pics don't really give a glimpse to all the family members. but I really don't know who would object to their pics online to the world so I did a select few of people, that I think would be okay with it! :)

Snowshoeing on a snow day

When winter seems to be upon us for eternity. 

And the Christmas blues might set in. 

The best thing a person can do is go for a long walk with her partner and dog

The better thing to do is go snowshoeing. 

While snow is softly falling. 

Making slight swishing sounds as it hits the ground. 

And exploring new areas unexplored by all of us. 

It makes for a perfect winter day. 

Love

Last day of 2014

I love the holidays. And as we ended Mark's party last night (with wonderful friends and family, might I add) at one of his kind of restaurants (it's called MEAT of all things) our holiday season is coming soon to a close.

When this happens I start to feel a little blue. I find myself looking extra hard at the Christmas lights and willing them to imprint in my memory. Enjoying the snowmen and snow forts (with their extra festive appeal) a little more than I would on a cold blustery day in January. Smelling our Christmas tree and savoring the pine smell a little harder. It's silly really but it's what I do. 

I then look to the new year. What should my goals be. What should I strive to do, be, see, learn? 

This year I decided on nothing. I am just going to let be and live how I want and strive to do things that make me happy in a day. Maybe this is a goal/resolution in itself (ha ha). Or maybe I have learned quite a bit from what you have offered me, 2014! 

I know what it takes to be happy. I know it takes work. I know that just because you can doesn't mean you do. For a large chunk of the 2014 I did something that made me miserable. And letting go of that and realizing that happy things can come my way when I look for them, was not only a great relief but so self gratifying. 

I know that my family both on my side and husbands is there for me. I know I have wonderful friends and coworkers to talk to. I know I have a loving partner to depend on and who (like me) works really hard on our relationship to make it special and unique for both of us. I know when I come home I am coming home to our fur animals that only know how to greet with love, even if they were full of mischief during the day. I know my limitations but I know that I can continue to work on them and make them strengths. 

For what I know, I am grateful. 2014 was kind of an eye opener for me. I learned a lot. Found new happiness, appreciated old happiness. 

2015 you are welcomed with opened arms. I have zero expectations, resolutions or any other goal to make. I will just see what will be brought!

Happy new year!

Love

What my christmas meant to me

Christmas was a bit different for me this year. One is I didn't have to work (yay) so I could participate wholeheartedly into every bit of any activity that was available to be in. Also we went on a little vacation (mid-christmas) so I had to decide what I really wanted to do for my Christmas experience to make it special for both myself and others around me. Guess what? It was kind of fantastic. 

I had to forgo the baking this time around (slightly sad, but as Mark's Auntie Donna said, baking doesn't just need to be Christmas baking (so true, so january it is!) I also had to choose my Christmas movies with extra care as only a few selected would get chosen. Some of my traditions I let go of and just let the holidays take over. I can't say it enough it was lovely just for that. 

I shouldn't make it all snowflakes and poinsettias (har har). I did plenty of christmas shopping prior to leaving on our trip and may have done a bit of last minute to dos right before the 25. Something that at christmas time, I do not enjoy. Shocking but true, crowds and long lines make me antsy. But for the positive....

Here is what we did:

- walks around our neighborhood to see the glimpses of some of our favourite decorated houses. Bentley and I found one on Christmas Eve, it was incredible. I took Mark to it later on Christmas Day. Kind of like the candy cane keyhole, of our neighborhood. Love. 

- watched a few of my favourite movies. Home alone (yay I know, but it was what I grew up on), love actually (it just makes me feel warm watching that one) and a must, White Christmas (and yet again I cried when the general went down the stairs in his uniform, gets me again). 

- wrote Christmas cards. Ahhhh, the dying form of letter delivery. I enjoy getting mail every year from family and friends, sending me updates on their lives, delivering well wishes. So in return we do it. Although I cheat a little with a Christmas letter/picture that tells a small story. It is something that at this time I love to do....we will see how I feel in the upcoming years. 

- decorating our tree. With my insistence, we got a tree at the end of November. Plopped it in the tree stand and I watered it religiously for three days. And it was taking water like you wouldn't believe. Three to four times a day. Then on the third day I went to decorate the tree. And the needles started to fall. Kind of rain. I looked down and the tree skirt was drenched. Yes. Our stand sprung a leak and our tree died. We switched it up and found that although the branches rained when touched, the trunk continued to take up water, so decorating it began. And with the lights on, a few sprigs stuck in to sparkle, it was beautiful. That along with the lights that Mark strung outside (with such mastery) made it really feel like christmas. I would turn them on, make a hot chocolate and enjoy. Still makes me feel happy. 

- Christmas Eve. A little hectic with no reason to dwell and get into. But we went to church. And when we went I was happy. Great sermon, great story and they ended with my favourite carol, silent night. It always makes me tear up a little when I hear it. And we had candles which makes the carol more powerful. 

- Christmas morning. We woke up, and immediately took the dog for an am walk. Cool air, cold but not too cold. We facetimed my parents on the walk and wished well wishes, talked of parties, and presents, gave thanks and laughed. Jimi had successfully surprised my mom and we gave small giggles of all that was occurring without her knowing. Then Mark and I spent some time alone and unwrapped our stockings, taking pics and laughing. Bentley was given his big gift, a Dino bone, as we were not going to be around to entertain him. We then headed to Wendy and David's. Met with Lawrence, we unwrapped our presents, (the boys played with their toys) and we ate croissants. Joined in the afternoon by granddad, Donna, Abbey, and Margaret we ate a wonderful meal, played games, ate again, while outside snow fell softly (seriously, I can't make this stuff up!). 

It was a fantastic ending to our Christmas, (even though it was continued with more fun the next day with the Edey cousins and a rousing, gift exchange of trades and unwrapping...who knew baking sheets and drinking cups were hot commodities - ;) )

Great holiday, great fun, great people, makes for an enormous heart. 

Happy new year

Love

Late at night

I like to turn on the lights of the Christmas tree and sit and look and smell all things Christmas. 

Love