With love from my husband

"Just a heads up to all potential visitors to the house, Tracey did get onesie pajamas and is accosting anyone who comes near so that they can truly appreciate her eminence wrapped within its all encompassing heart speckled folds. Be prepared, ninja fighting moves should be expected from Tracey on sight, standard operating procedures dictate that no one must ever lose to Tracey's low flying kicks and high flying punches," Mark warns. 

Tracey adds, "plus it makes me happy everything I put it on". 

Love

One year ago

Right about now I was a mad woman. Sure there are always spurts of madness in my life (wink, wink). But literally I was a mad woman. I was studying crazily for the crne, convincing myself of ultimate doom. I was half heartedly applying for jobs as I didn't want to go through the interview process adding unnecessary stress to the exam process...not realizing that when no calls came back it added to my stress.

Ahhhhhh. Yes well if I could have just talked to myself then. Although knowing me I wouldn't believe her. I wrote the exam and passed! I got together with all my nursling friends (after the exam) to find out many didn't have jobs. I talked with friends about revamping my resume and did. And I got an interview and then a job in mid march. 

I started working. And working more and although there have been some trials being a new grad there have been happy moments. I have found excellent support and friends. I have learned so much on the last year and I have even managed to teach others what I know, who knew? 

Now I am about to start another career venture. I am going back to the job I had during my preceptorship. As a nurse, not a student. I am nervous, scared and excited about this new venture. It's a little step in a direction I am passionate about. Loads of learning to be had. But I am ready. 

What a difference a year makes!

Love

What it's like to be a nurse

After almost a year of working I am starting to formulate what I feel it's like to be a nurse and what it's like to work with others

Nurses are kind to each other and to others.

For a profession that the majority tends to be women I feel we break the stigma associated with females working with females. We work together. We look to solve problems. We focus on communicating our patients needs to the appropriate disciplines. And most importantly we are there for each other so we can be there for our patients.

Nurses break the stigma of the traditional nurse

Let's not exclude our male counterparts in nursing who are great as well. Like any profession I welcome equality and love the different perspectives each individual can bring. I like a lot of people I work with. Frankly a huge lot of them are amazing. Each have their own way of doing things, have their own personality and their own set of skills and knowledge. Yet we all hold similar values in caring for our patient, even if it looks a bit different in each other's eyes.

Nurses are there for you

When things look bad and frankly overwhelming, I call on my fellow coworkers for help. And guess what. They come willingly, offering anything and everything they can.

Sometimes things don't look well for patients. They take a decline in health. I press a button and people come running. It's miraculous to watch a collective, coming together to help you, and more importantly that one person in the bedside that needs all of our help. It's so fluid to watch. Some may say its fast and adrenaline pumping. I see it in slow motion, so fluid, almost dance like, as one documents, another does vitals, another takes orders, another administers. It's amazing.

I know of one in particular who helped me so much this week. She worked at the desk. A charge nurse. But she didn't stay at the desk. She was a true team player manning the floor when she was needed and able. A true and remarkable leader who cared about her coworkers and the patients. I am always amazed when I see people like her. True leaders who probably could move up the ladder quite easily, but selfishly I want them by my side.

Nurses are great to talk to you

They are by your side and on your side. I have cried with patients. Supported them by being their cheerleaders. I have listened and empathized. And I felt I ultimately care and want everyone to get better.

And guess what. I have done the same with my coworkers, and they for me. One nurse went into a patients rooms and found her declining quite bad. Once recovered, she then said, "what if I hadn't gone in there to help her, would she have died?" I told her, that is the wrong statement, "it's that you went in there and she lived". So often we beat each other up for the potential of what coulda, shoulda, woulda. Instead of looking at the what we had done, did and will do for them (my husband taught me that one).

There have been many days I have bottled up my feelings and cried all the way home, reaching my husband at that point I am almost inconsolable. It's not pretty. But these last two months, I have started to talk to my nursing coworkers. And guess what. They have been not only amazing in their support for me, but showed me what it is truly like to be part of a team. They have encouraged me, offered hugs, and offered opportunities in reflection. I don't think I could do the work I do without them.

Nurses aren't the only ones that are amazing.

When in the hospital you encounter a variety of different titles. Physicians, OTs, PTs, RTs, speech pathologists, pharmacists, lab techs, diagnostics, food services, dietitians, social workers, etc. I work with them and without them we would be rendered useless. But I work closely with my partner usually liscnsed practical nurse and on occasion an RN, who I have talked about already. But two very important roles that I really don't think it gets enough recognition but deserves are these.

First, The health care aide. They, too, talk to our patients, help bathe them, reposition them, help feed them if we are busy with the medical aspect. They help us with the extra tlc that is needed like a warm blanket, new water. But more importantly they care. Sometimes they see things when our eyes are on others. They are so important and so needed in our team. We would be so horribly overwhelmed without them.

Second the unit clerk. The people with the answers. They process our stat orders, call our codes, ring up the numbers by memory in an emergency, make sure our patients get to their tests, get discharged properly, get admitted properly, have the correct diets and really so much more. They have so much knowledge it's incredible. I couldn't figure where a persons ahs card could be when they got admitted and one unit clerk had it figured out in mere seconds. 

So ultimately I think I have learned how important it is to be part of a team in nursing. People thrive when we all work together. And we thrive when we work together. Teamwork should be encouraged and fostered. Never take it for granted and do anything and everything to keep that team functioning in a positive way. It's worth it.

Love

7 year itch?

Happy 7 years to my beloved.

What can I say that I haven't said already. 

I had a conversation with you the other day and there was an overwhelming feeling of contentment and near perfection. We talked about our day.  So ordinary, I know. But after, I felt we really are a family. 

We were both talking about some very difficult things re. work. As we talked we felt sad re. each of our situations. Questioning. But simulataneously, we found some aspect of positivity for each other.  Things that we both needed to keep going. Our jobs can be quite difficult and stressful, so we are lucky to have each other for this. I thanked you then and I thank you now. 

We laugh, find humor and positivity. That is so important in life. We have encountered many people, in many walks of life. Some people seem to have a really tough go. They have unfortunate circumstances that they have yet to be able to turn around. Or they just need a little boost to help them and it can't be immediate which is what they need. Sometimes others are unable to ask for help, or others feel they don't need it when they plainly do. 

I think that you and me are lucky as we do try to find an answer to solve our problems and to keep going. We support each other, love each other and are ultimately there for each other.

So seven year itch? It looks pretty fab if this is what seven years is. 

Happy anniversary. 

Love

The parents have gone home

The parents are gone and this house has gotten a little extra lonely for us all. I think even Kitty misses some extra cuddles, 'wink, wink'. It was nice having people around. Especially when I worked evenings as my life gets pretty quiet during those days being as the only people I see are at work. 

But I shall be fine. I have already started a work out routine again to get myself through these winter months. And the scrapbooking has been revved up again. Just finished a New York one. Embarassed to tell you what year. He he. But it's a nice winter activity. 

My dad was incredible with all the things he did around the house. From helping Mark hang up the pot rack which I am in love with, to finding a spice rack drawer at Rona. He was the list king, fixing my desk that broke in the move, hanging up the towel rack in our bedroom bathroom, and doling out tons of knowledge from electrical work, to insulation, to how to clean out out "humidifier tubing". Not to mention getting a layout of the basement for future endeavors. Car batteries installed, broom racks hung, church bench put together, and fine tuning our house by painting our baseboards so that the nails and cracks are covered up and decreasing the length in the blind cords. It was lovely for him to come and see our house for the first time. I had a great time with you Daddio. 

Mom coming the second time around was still just as fun and fantastic.  Shopping for things needed for the house, decorative and functional (love my pillows). And just shopping too (she got an amazing sweater). Pulling out our iron and ironing board for the first time. He he, glad it's served one use so far. Seeing a movie, 'the book thief' and crying like a baby...thanks for that...he he (It was really good). Going to Zumba class and dancing like a fool. A serious fool that the instructor called out to me, 'that's right you are getting it'. And just chilling out watching movies at home. Not to mention all the help she was when it came to helping make big meals from vacuuming the house to helping prep food and after warm the food with towels. Mark and I have learned a few more things when it comes to socializing and having company, so thanks mom!

And the collaborative effort of both of them hanging up the curtains. From mom cutting and ironing on the hem to dad measuring out and hanging the rods and curtains. Really I have amazing parents and I am so grateful to all the help you gave us. The house feels so cozy and warm now. I feel content and that I can finally just live in it as little things are no longer hanging over my head.  Sure I have some ideas. But those are on the back burner for awhile. I just want to enjoy. And I hope that our house shows the personality of us shining through via pics, books, artwork, and furniture. 

I may show the results. But be patient. Need to actually take them. He he. 

Love

Lucky lady

I was a very lucky this year as I not only got to have my holidays with one side of my family, but both at the same time. And like Mark said it was a marathon, not a sprint, of wonderful holiday goodness that leaves my heart feeling happy. 

My parents came on Christmas Eve (and are still here till the ninth, eek). It was a perfect time as it broke my stretch of six shifts nicely and putting some fun into my days as they become pretty monotonous prior to work. Took a nice tour of Marks school. And the three of them had a Robertson family tradition of a tortiere that evening. I think they were pretty tired as they went to bed early. 

On the day of Christmas, I have already written about. It was wonderful and so much fun. I don't think it could have been any better although having Jimi and his partner would have been an added bonus. Not working too...but that provided me with another kind of joy. 

Mom got to continue on with her traditional Boxing Day trip with her friend. While Mark got to celebrate with all the Edey cousins in Red Deer. I got to sleep. It was appreciated. 

And then we contined celebrating Christmas with Jimi Jam and Cassie on the 27th.  Wendy and David came over and we did our first Christmas ever with excellent family help. Mark cooked the turkey. Amazingly. Dad did he escargots. And my fantastic mother did the rest although she states she really didn't. I was around for clean up and coordination...sure that's it. All in all it went well. Mom was great at it and knew that towels keep everything warm and made sure to get everything ready in the am leaving more time to socialize. Apparently it wasn't her first rodeo (wink, wink). I don't think it could have been done better with my husband and parents by my side. Next time we may try at it with no help....but is that as much fun as family involvement?

Family bonding was after with trips to see the Harry potter exhibit, see the hobbit desolation of smaug. Spillage of corn startch, and leftover turkey sandwhiches, costco runs and gym trips. Movies from the library and fChristmas, goodies galore and dad teachings about home repair, maintenace and electrical work. Laughs and love. 

A birthday celebration for my lovely. A feast of meat with wonderful company of family and friends that expressed numerous times that they wanted to celebrate Marks birthday, even if Mark didn't think it was a big deal. And we were all so glad to have them and our parents and siblings (that were in town). Definitlely beat last years Vegas debacle. 

And then New Years Eve where we visited with two parties so we could hang out with just some of the people we really love and appreciate. Ringing in the new year with laughs, fun and mice!

And you would think that would be it. But as Mark said, it is a marathon not a sprint. So we headed to Marks uncle and aunts for a dinner and one of my fav Edey traditions of Court Whist. So much fun. 

It is is back to work tomorrow but I can honestly say it has been an amazing holiday week this year. So very fortunate to have both families here and to spend time with them. It has been lovely. I am just grateful. 

Happy New Year!

2014 I am excited for the new beginnings and what is in store!

Love