Sleep training day 1

The time has come little one where you must learn to sleep a little bit more and with a little bit less assistance from mom.  Why? Cause I am continuously tired and having one week good, one week bad and switch is making for a very irritable mom. And when I'm irritable I don't want to be around anyone. And let's face it, there are people in the world that want/need to be seen. And they want to see you and me. So before I drive them all away with my fatigue we need to accomplish a little goal called sleep. 

I realize it's a small world problem in the grand scheme. But it's my small world problem. And I need to fix it. 

I've learned a lot about sleep since having you. That seems to be the number one thing that parents want after having a baby. And let's just say informational overload. Doctors, nurses, Internet, family, friends, books, sleep coaches: they all have opinions. Ferberize, cry it out, attachment, co-sleep, gentle approach. You want something and you will find a method out there. And me being desperate for increased zzz's has sought these numerous resources to get it. 

The first real method we tried was ferberize. And your dad gave a pep talk. Commit to it for two weeks and if it doesn't work move on. We committed and I started to see a rainbow in the horizon. That pot of gold promising a happy slumber. Then you regressed. Got better. Regressed. I think the problem for me was that at 2-4am, even 6am I just didn't have the capacity to do 3 min, 7 min, 10 min intervals. We would go back to our old ways of you soothing yourself in my arms. 

I then read a book. It made me cry. Your Grammie told me to put it down. But I kept reading. And in terms of its overall explanation of how your little baby brain has worked in the past and continues to work it started to call out to me. 

You needed consistency. You apparently needed more nap time that I really wasn't giving you. You exhibited signs of over tiredness. You showed a lot of unexplained fussiness that I never thought was sleep related, I equated it to overstimulation. And the authour recommended but was not adamant in the cry it out method. 

Now this was and is a bit controversial for both your father and I. No one wants to hear a baby cry out and not get any love in return. Especially from their child. We are both people that like to help and take care of people. It's our line of work. This goes against everything that we are trained to believe. But when you are desperate....and I am....

So tonight I fed you at 2200. I don't think you needed it. Let's face it you woke up after only 3 hours of sleep when in the past you have slept for 8 full hours. I put your overtired little body down and you fell asleep. You then got up at 2315. And cried. And cried. You just stopped actually, it's 140. It took every ounce of strength for me not to barge in your room and help you through it. 

I stayed awake though. I just kept saying she needs to learn how to sleep (also that's a thing you know, it doesn't just occur spontaneously you need to learn!). Long term goal. I am told this will be worse before better. But I'm also told that it's good to do now rather than later when you become a little escape artist. 

This is our first real test with you if I'm honest. It's probably small and insignificant for the years ahead. But to me this is our first parental responsibility that we have taken, besides the easy ones which is love, food and shelter. 

We shall see what the week brings. If it works I will put the book on here for your future life (maybe you will want/have kids someday that sleep). And who knows what info you will encounter. 

Xoxo

Till I hear you again.