grrrrr

yesterday was not a good day. it may be quite minor when i look back on it in the years ahead, but for me, yesterday, i was not happy. i am organized, it seemed that my organization just left. AND I HATE IT WHEN THINGS AREN'T ORGANIZED! he he he. ugh. then when i went to bed, all i thought about was the night and it kept circling in my dreams....leading to a not so pleasent sleep!

now, as i write this i hear my parent's voices in my head. "i can do this. we don't quit. it will get easier". others (like mark's) words of encouragement go a long way too as there are days, when i know that i am okay, but it helps when others believe in me too!

wow, this rotation is hard. now on to the next day, today! today is a new day! :)

love

today is a good day

why?

1. because its friday. that needs no explanation
2. because i saw miracle on 34th street yesterday on tv. the black and white natalie wood the best version. love christmas movies
3. because i have three weeks left till christmas break
4. because i have one more week till my birthday
5. because i am tired and exhausted, this rotation is HARD. but at least i am learning lots
6. because i have a date-day planned to the market tomorrow and it is suppose to have 63 vendors!
7. because i have a friend date tonight and those are always stupendous!
8. because i saw this trailer and it seemed romantic and cute and i really want to see it!

AND

i am just happy that its friday...said that already but it needs to be reiterated!

love

a girl and her flower

so although i won't be doing a christmas countdown, it doesn't mean i won't share some of my memories, thoughts, and more loves of the holiday season! :)

last year for christmas my parents gave both my brother and i digital frames loaded with pics from our childhood. i find it amusing, letting it run as you never know what picture will come up. well this was one (excuse the nightgown and i really don't know what jimi-jam was wearing) came up.

me and my amaryllis. my grammie gave it to me for my birthday to plant and see it grow over the christmas season. i don't know how eager i was of the gift but i look happy! i still remember it being up to my chest and had actually been thinking about that flower last year. so much so that i bought one! this time i know i was happy to see it inch every day and come to a beautiful bloom. it is especially nice when you rarely see things grow during our winter months!

if only i actually thought about it and kept the bulb to grow again this year....once again showing my lack of "plant knowledge!" he he he.

happy christmas memories!

love

its okay to cry

so this rotation has brought on a wide variety of emotions from me...and when i talk to my nursing friends (them, too). well maybe this will be interesting to them...its not totally our fault ladies! mark's mom was talking about this as there was a speaker on cbc. i don't know if i have the exact author but i found this interesting....

Kreamer contends that women naturally cry more:
Women, who produce higher levels of prolactin, the hormone that controls tear production, cry on average 5.3 times a month, compared with 1.4 times for men. Women’s tear ducts are also anatomically different from men’s--they are smaller, which means that when women cry tears tend to spill out and down their faces, whereas when men cry their tears merely well up.

So why fight it, asks Kreamer:
Tears are a biological phenomenon, and when they appear they should be regarded not as bad in and of themselves but as a message, like the check-engine light going off on the car dashboard. Tears at work signal that something’s not quite right. They aren’t necessarily a moral failing or a sign of weakness.

(Ann Kreamer, It's Always Personal: Emotion in the Workplace)

very interesting....so it is okay to cry! but i still want to hold it in if i can, because it just ain't pretty! :)

love

what to do when one is anxious

• have a support person (or persons) to talk to. this means they will support you, let you cry, tell you that first days are hard, and quit trying to be so darn perfect (because even if you feel you are perfect, you aren't and frankly sometimes that needs to be said). he he he
• scrapbook. i know it diverts from the part you are anxious about but sometimes that is needed!
• with that in mind just take a break: long baths, read, bake, watch movies....try to de-stress
• download les miserables on itunes and sing at the top of your lungs (or any other of your favourite music...my choice always reverts to broadway!)....really it works
• talk to others that are in a similar situation. some may not [but most will] empathize and be there to vent with. 
• know that "this too shall pass" and that once you get used to things, it will get better.

now i just need to read this everyday...he he he! four more weeks!
love

another week bites the dust

it's officially the weekend in one minute. so happy you are here! it has been a freakishly busy two days in clinical. ahhhhhh. even my computer was busy as it decided to freeze and delete half the research i did. ugh. note to self, back up and save! :) but i have learned so much in just two days. talking to one other person in my clinical was funny because we both wished we could just skip over all this part and be "good" nurses. someday...;)

on top of the official week of clinical is the first official week of winter with snow, snow and more snow. it has come! i actually have to say this time of year i never mind the snow. i enjoy it. reminds me of holidays, xmas carols, lights, festivities...

speaking of holidays...already have some christmas shopping done with. hopefully going to wrap up the last little bit this weekend when there is little to do at the moment! eek! i love christmas. but on a sad note i don't know if i will even be decorating this year because we are off to my parents home for the holidays. i know i probably still could but i don't really like coming home to all sorts of decorations when in my mind xmas is over....this also means no christmas countdown for this blog.

i think i will leave now. mark stayed up and i think i will watch a bit of a movie with him. have a great weekend all!

love

birthday wishes

i have been kind of bad with regards to sending out birthday wishes on this blog this year. last year i was on top of it! he he he. but considering i do wish the lovely people in my life a very happy birthday in person, and usually through other mediums i figure it is okay...

however...since today i happen to think about writing on the blog i would like to wish my momsie a very happy happy birthday! love you lots and hope you have a wonderful day! check out my countdown...i will be seeing you soon! :)

love

the countdown is on

1 more day and it is my mom's birthday

19 more days and it is mine

21 more days till my last assignment is due in this term

30 more days till my last day of clinical

36 more days till i fly to new brunswick

39 more days and mark will be there

40 more days till christmas

AND

45 more days till mark's birthday (i thought i would add that one for points!)

this is the countdown that i keep playing in my head. i have extreme anxiety right now as i am officially starting my new rotation for clinical tomorrow. i am pretty scared and may have had a few bouts of tears already, such a dork! ;)  i know i can do it, but it will be challenging, with many new skills to practice! ugh! so i keep playing this countdown in my head!!!

p.s. the cold fx, the sleep, the baths, the relaxing worked. i feel somewhat free of a cold! :)

love

i feel it coming

that being a cold. its the first big snowfall and i feel it coming.

i hate that pre-stage with the slight chills and the tingle in your throat. when you try to fight off the cold before it takes over your body for good. this is done by taking as much cold fx as possible. hoping, wishing, willing the cold to be gone by the morning. pummeling down as much fluids as would be allowed, bundling in warm clothes till you "sweat". taking warm baths to relax and let your body fight the evil germs that are lurking in your body.

and colds always come in the most inopportune times. but really when it is it opportunistic. i remember having one right before i left for new york city. another came during final exams. then two hit me during two music festivals, folk fest, and lilith fair. not to mention during the summer months when you are not suppose to be sick. this time around, my first week of my last clinical rotation, seriously?? (!!)

all this said in done i will tell you the result of this one. let's see if i can just fight it off! wish me luck...now back to the water!

in the meantime, enjoy this little video.


love

in remembrance

on this day i will remember my grandfathers. i love you both so very much!

love

its beginning to look a lot like...

the christmas commercials have started. i called mark from work in a fit of glee. the hype has started and i am buying completely into it! eek! also have been scouring sites in my downtime looking for "cute" ideas. i found tons of diy gifts that i am pretty pumped to make (let's just hope i have the time).

in school news, my last maternity shift is wrapping up tomorrow. i have to say. i actually really like post partum. this is something that once again surprises me as i didn't think it would interest me at all. who would have thought. maybe my mom is right, i just love every rotation i am in....although maybe not one (refer to this post). it is going to be very tricky figuring out what to do in my preceptorship....

with this rotation winding down i will get a bit of a long weekend to unwind, scrapbook (something i have been doing heavily this last week) and maybe review some of the material that i am going to be needing to know for next rotation. this last one is the one i am the most nervous about. but who knows...it will probably be for me...he he he. jk!

till then!
love

hibernation time

the season is upon us. not christmas, but pre-winter. this is the time where i just want to:

• make "hearty" soups or stews.
• meals heavy on the pasta.
• snuggle in warm blankets.
• have warm baths while reading really good books
• wear my mittens everywhere i go
• avoid going outside for anything

i can now see why when spring comes i want to start eating healthy again and going to the gym because all i really want to do is hibernate until the sun comes out in full fury! he he he

however days like today i can make a bit of an exception. snuggled under the blankets till 10 am, then mark and i went on a market date. its rodeo week so there happened to be some festivities at city hall. some "bad" miniature ponies (i say that, as they would be kicking the side of their trailer when their owners weren't looking...he he he). movies in a warm tent and coffee/apple cider/hot chocolate for only a dollar!! love it. not to mention fire pits and music entertainment.

sure glad i decided to put off my hibernation for another day!

love

time warp!

halloween is upon us once again. this year mark and i have been a bit lazy. i don't know if its being busy with school (mark) or procrastinating on papers (moi) or it could even be the sugar coma we fell into the past week eating little candy bars but we didn't do anything (well i guess we did buy some candy!)

regardless we have had our fair share of halloween fun in the years we have been together. whether it was dressing up in disco costumes and going rollerskating, attending parties (as a ninga and hippie...guess which one) or having a pumpkin carving contest (i still say i won).

i was even looking back at old blog posts made on this blog. it made me laugh at some of the things we were doing for halloween like this and of course rocky horror with a pregnant christine and very random outfits by all of us....he he he.

next year we will have to make a concentrated effort not to be halloween grinches. he he he

until next time i will give you this little video in honor of halloween. someone posted it on facebook and brought back so many good memories from halloween and not! :) happy halloween!

good friends

good friends are there when you need a to laugh
good friends are there when you need to vent
they ask questions
and they listen
in return you do the same for those good friends

good friends go out for dinner with you
let you "try" their ceaser salad and dessert
laugh at you when you try to order something that you hadn't ever before
and talk about topics that you NEVER though you would be discussing

good friends are there for after dinner
willing to do anything from bowling, board games or a movie
yet good friend are understanding when you cannot
because you (the other friend)
urgently need to go home due to an unforseen circumstance...
related to food not sitting well in you stomach
lol

thanks jeff for the wonderful evening and the understanding!

love

i am feeling it...

so i know halloween has yet to come, but i am starting to feel a little christmas like!! yes, i know, much to early for these feelings BUT:

• i am officially half way done the semester as of today. the hard part has yet to come but after all that is christmas joy so how can i not look forward to that???
• i will be visiting my family on said holidays. my mom already has our rooms ready. i had to laugh when she told me that, but after i started to get excited...even though it was on october 19th
• it is getting that slight chill in the air. the chill i love during the holidays but absolutely hate during the january, february, march, april, may (???) months
• i am starting to think of christmas presents....eeekkkk!!!!

i know its a little crazy but i just can't help myself. to focus i probably should buy some pumpkins and have a carving contest to concentrate on the actual holiday in front of us. or eat three boxes of chocolates (oh wait....).

have a good night!
love

lovely date night

you know what i love?
cheesecake. love cheesecake. so bad for you, yet so good.
indian food. mattar paneer, beef vindaloo, naan bread. can you really go wrong here?
bowling. so fun! gutter balls, strikes, spares, near misses, hitting the spot! so fun, silly, and competitive.

you know what i love more?
doing all this in one day!
lucky girl!

love

what i do in the mornings when i work in the evenings...

• eat eggs: because i love eggs for breakfast and he doesn't. because i have the time to do it in the mornings. because it seems like a sunday breakfast but during the weekday.
• glee marathon: because i love listening to singing. because i love watching dancing. because it makes me happy.
• write notes to mark: because i haven't seen him all week. because it is nice to be thought of. because i am thought of in return
• workout: because there really is no excuse why not. because i feel good after. because it is good for me!
• start the slow cooker: because i get tons of leftovers for more night shifts. because it is fall and i love fall comfort food. because it is just so darn easy to make!
• cuddle with a kitty: because suprisingly he is way more up for cuddles during the day. because he is needy. because he is kind of cute!

love

what do you think?

check out this link right here. do you think you could live in such tight quarters with your partner.

i know i could do it alone...but with another person??? it would so not work for me. i like retreating into my room to scrapbook, blog, do homework or just be alone.

but i am impressed with the people that do it....wonder what they do if they have visitors???
love

a new rotation and a new night!

ahhh. the new rotation has started. back to shift work, mornings and nights. this week is nights, something i am looking forward to having as sleeping in seems so very nice at the moment!

so far i have been in awe of the ever so experienced nurses and doctors on my unit. so much knowledge, skills, compassion and SO SMART. yet i know know know that labour and delivery is not for me! it is quite amazing to see a baby enter this world, probably one of the coolest things i have seen. BUT if i stay in this field for the long term i think i will be scared away from ever having children (as it is i have pushed it even farther into the future after being in this rotation for one week) !! ha ha. i don't know how to explain it but i just feel too much of their pain. there may be a reward in the end but i think i will hold a grudge on that reward as it just went to war on my body (p.s. sorry mom, never meant to do that too you)! i know all you mom's out there say you forget the pain, but let's face it, (you can ask mark) i don't forget. lol

in other news....tried out the enjoy center with a nursing friend today. very cool place. organic grocery store, organic food (i recommend the carrot cake, very tasty), and cool little shops through out (although a little expensive). definitely a place my mom would enjoy as it has a similar feel as salisbury greenhouse :)

AND speaking of organic, mark just "harvested" his feast this year. potatoes, garlic, carrots and many many herbs. so very lovely. i may have been slightly annoyed with him when he initially started "cleaning" his veggies as i had just finished "cleaning" the kitchen. but a mess is no longer lingering on the counter tops so my annoyance has faded. and better than that i am happy to have veggies. it is a fantastic experience to bypass the veggies aisle in the supermarket because you have your own grown goods at home! :)

i have been reading lots too. i am loving this library card. it is kind of like homework to finish these books before they are due back but so many good ones to read! i just finished one book "those who save us" by jenna blum. a little graphic in some chapters but i found it interesting (even though it was fictional). AND right now i am reading "little princes" by conor grennan, a non-fiction book about orphans in nepal. so far i like...

hoping to find time to scrapbook again. the assignments are taking over my life, and when they are not, i am just tired and want to veg out. we will see what this weekend brings!

love you all!

yummers

what a wonderful thanksgiving weekend!
full of:

1. turkey
2. stuffing
3. veggies
4. buns
5. salad
6. more turkey
7. pumpkin pie
8. chocolate pie
9. apple pie
10. more pumpkin pie

yum! plus family events such as card games, walks, joking around, and even fit in a football game! i heart long weekends! they are too good to me!

i think i am going to go make a pumpkin pie now ;)

love